Black Friday Quotes, Cyber Monday, Christmas Shopping Quotations

Below you will find our collection of quotations about the insanity that is known as Black Friday collected over the years from a variety of sources.
I just stay home and drink my coffee, in the lovely morning peace and quiet. But however it is you celebrate, ignore, or protest Black Friday or Cyber Monday shopping, I offer you these great quotes on the topic.

As you know, Black Friday is the day shoppers go berserk for holiday deals.
~Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Christmas comes only once a year,
Which is lucky, I guess, for me;
For if it should come more often,
In the poorhouse I’d surely be!
Money seems to just melt away
When Christmas begins to draw near;
For, boy! I surely love to buy
For those who, to me, are so dear.
I have the best of intentions
When I go downtown to the store;
I vow I’ll not spend very much,
But, oh dear, I spend more and more!
~Gertrude Tooley Buckingham

Here’s wishing your Black Friday injuries aren’t so severe that you can’t click a mouse on Cyber Monday.
~Author Unknown

You may have heard of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. There’s another day you might want to know about: Giving Tuesday. The idea is pretty straightforward. On the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, shoppers take a break from their gift-buying and donate what they can to charity.
~Bill Gates

Only in America do people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
~Author Unknown

Shopping is a woman thing. It’s a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
~Erma Bombeck

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
~Joan Rivers

A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.
~Author Unknown

People will buy anything that is one to a customer.
~Sinclair Lewis

Consumerism has a religious day called Black Friday.
~Jarod Kintz

A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist.
~Franklin P. Jones

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley. ~Author Unknown

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.
We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.
~Dave Barry

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
~Erma Bombeck

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants.
~John Andrew Holmes

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?
~Rita Rudner

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.
~Bo Derek

We used to build civilizations. Now we build shopping malls.
~Bill Bryson

Only one shopping day left ’til tomorrow.
~Author Unknown

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.
~Author Unknown

I shop like a bull — I charge everything!
~Author Unknown

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
~Stephen Butler Leacock

Be glad that you’re greedy; the national economy would collapse if you weren’t.
~Mignon McLaughlin

Creditors have better memories than debtors.
~Benjamin Franklin

The other line moves faster.
~Etorre’s Observation

Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another checkout line.
~Ann Landers

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don’t need with money you don’t have.
~Author Unknown

We realize we can’t have everything, and so begins the mad scramble to have everything else.
~Robert Brault

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
~Dave Barry

If you camp out at the store for a TV, you are a good consumer. If you camp out for social justice, you’re a dirty hippie and will be pepper-sprayed.
~Author Unknown

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.
~Elayne Boosler

If men liked shopping, they’d call it research.
~Cynthia Nelms

A bargain ain’t a bargain unless it’s something you need.
~Sidney Carroll

Who recalls when folks got along without something if it cost too much?
~Kin Hubbard

Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift…. The hangover comes the day after.
~Joyce Brothers

Today, there are three kinds of people: the have’s, the have-not’s, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-have’s.
~Earl Wilson

To perceive Christmas through its wrappings becomes more difficult with every year.
~Elwyn Brooks White

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells.
~J. Paul Getty

There must be more to life than having everything!
~Maurice Sendak

A consumer is a shopper who is sore about something.
~Harold Coffin

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.
~Marcelene Cox

I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
~Ilie Nastase

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
~Author Unknown

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.
~Tammy Faye Bakker

Shopping is better than sex. If you’re not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like.
~Adrienne Gusoff

But it is a cold, lifeless business when you go to the shops to buy something, which does not represent your life and talent, but a goldsmith’s.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive.
~Nicholas Johnson

If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving as the angels give.
~George MacDonald

May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!
~Author Unknown

A hug is a great gift — one size fits all, and it’s easy to exchange.
~Author Unknown

The only gift is a portion of thyself.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stuffocation: being overwhelmed by the stuff one has bought or accumulated.
~Author Unknown

On the one hand, shopping is dependable: You can do it alone, if you lose your heart to something that is wrong for you, you can return it; it’s instant gratification and yet something you buy may well last for years.
~Judith Krantz

The only reason a great many American families don’t own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.
~Mad MagazineBudget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.
~A.A. Latimer

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